If Symptoms PersistGet Revenge On The Patient
by DragonfireXAgent
Summary: Fake sick Kankurou plus revenge from Temari and Gaara equals...well, read and find out. Please Review!


**Disclaimer: ** I do not own the Sand Siblings or any other Naruto characters.

The boy from the store solemnly greeted his costumer with a scary, yet, calm voice. "Good morning. How may I help you…?" He stared at the girl with brown hair, carrying a shopping basket in her arms and gritted his teeth, cursing the one responsible for making him work part-time in this miserable, stinking building that is a stupid excuse for a store.

"A-anou…Gaara-sensei? Why are you working here?" The girl asked, confused of the fact that her sensei, Suna's weapon, the current Kazekage, the keeper of the legendary Shukaku, was working on a corner market. Gaara eyed her gravely, his eyes twitching and brows furrowed. "It's a long story, Matsuri…" he replied. "Oh…umm…I guess I'll be going now…" Matsuri turned around and walked away, thinking that Gaara might be in his so-angry-that-cannot-be-explained-state. "Kankurou…I'm going to kill you when I get home…" Gaara muttered, his voice becoming more guttural by the minute. He remembered when Kankurou came home from a mission and just started mumbling something like this,

"_Temari…Gaara…can't move…stomach hurts…"_

"_Stomach hurts, my foot!"_ Gaara thought. And when he goes back home, he would see Kankurou jumping from couch to couch, trying to catch a fly that probably took a bite from his sandwich, and would say that he recovered miraculously, and the next day, he would come up with another unknown sickness and would tell him and Temari that he's gonna die.

"_I wonder what's gotten into Temari that made her fall so easily on Kankurou's lame joke._ _And now, here I am, filling in for Kankurou on his job while he just sleeps on the house, and being pampered by a supposedly cloned Temari while the real one probably got abducted by aliens."_ Gaara looked at the store clock that registered two o'clock pm. _"One more hour, and my shift is over. Damn. I wonder how long I can keep this up?" _

Temari went to the kitchen and picked up another plate of unsalted peanuts that Kankurou requested. "Sigh…I wonder when will he get better?" she asked herself. She silently slid open the door and was about to enter the room that Kankurou was in, but stopped as she heard the face-painted puppeteer laughing hysterically.

"HAHAHAHAHA! Can you believe this Karasu? Those two are like putties in my hand! Now I can get all the pampering I deserve! Mwahahahahahaha-uhh…I mean, cough! Cough! Temari! I'm glad you're back!" Kankurou pretended to cough and plopped back to his bed. _"So that's your game, eh? Okay. I'll play along." _Temari grinned in her mind and her facial expression changed to, like a boy who just got his first puppy. "Awww…is little Kankurou still not feeling well? We can't have that, can we? Don't worry, I'm here for you, brother."

There was a loud sound that shook the two. They turned around and saw their youngest brother at the doorway staring at Kankurou with his blood-shot eyes, clenching his work apron and threw it on the floor. He walked towards Kankurou and grabbed him by the collar. "#! Listen here, punk! I don't care if you're sick or not! I have been working on that stinkin' place for two weeks already, and I'm tired of-" he yelled.

"Temari, help me! Gaara has gone crazy…again!" he whimpered like a sick puppy and Gaara was dragged to the kitchen by Temari. "Temari, Kankurou is not sick! He's just…" He started but was cut off by Temari. "Shhh…I know Gaara." She grinned. "Want to help me with my little plan?"

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The kitchen door opened and the two stepped out. "Well, Gaara? Say you're sorry to Kankurou." Temari patted Gaara on the shoulders and inched him forward. "…Gomen, Kankurou. To make it up to you, I'll do whatever you command." Gaara said calmly, his face still in a stoic mood. A cat-like grin appeared on Kankurou's face, the smile almost reaching the bottom of his ear. He clapped his hand and snapped his fingers. "In that case, then, Gaara, put this on!" Out of nowhere, a maid's outfit in a hanger suddenly appeared before them.

"There is no way, I'm going to wear that…that…thing!" Gaara's eyes widened and were filled with disgust, but Kankurou hardly noticed that. "Tut, tut, tut. Whatever I command, remember?" he smirked. Gaara's eyes twitched but grabbed the dress, and went to change.

Temari raised her eyebrow and eyed at Kankurou suspiciously. "I thought you were sick?" she beamed. "Uhh…I am! Cough! Cough! Water…" He croaked. Temari smiled sweetly at him. "Of course, dear brother, anything you wish…" She said and went back to the kitchen, smirking evilly.

Temari came back with a glass of water on her left hand, while Gaara stepped on the room, dressed as a maid. Kankurou can't stop himself from guffawing. "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, this is priceless! Choke! Temari!! Water! Hahahahahaha!!!" Kankurou rolled down the floor, as Gaara looked at Temari who was handing Kankurou the glass of water and smirked.

As Kankurou drank the water, he held his throat and started to choke. He felt something on his water and spat. As he saw what was in his water, he looked at Temari, "Temari! Why are there PUFFERFISH SCALES on my water?!" "Oops. Sorry." Temari placed her finger on her lip and tried to look apologetically. Gaara, who seem to forget that he's still wearing that hideous maid outfit, locked himself in a closet and started laughing uncontrollably.

"Ugh…forget this…get me something to eat instead." Kankurou spat out some more fish scales that were stuck between his teeth. Temari beamed. "I've got just the thing for you, my helpless, little brother." And again, entered the kitchen. Inside, Kankurou could hear the sound of a chainsaw and a monster scream from heaven-knows-where came from.

Temari came out of the kitchen, carrying a green bowl filled with something and knelt down before Kankurou, taking a spoonful of the bubbling grey gunk from the bowl. "Open wide." She said playfully, waving the spoon in small circles. "What the heck is-" before Kankurou could react on the icky substance, Temari cupped his chin and shoved the spoon inside his mouth, and forcing the unknown gist to go down his throat. "Cough! What? What the hell is this?! Cough!" Kankurou clasped his throat, coughing horribly upon what he just tasted. "It's my special recipe! Lima beans coated with sugar, soaked in sauerkraut and pineapple juice, and I mixed it all with mayonnaise and mustard!" Temari grinned. Gaara peered through the keyhole of the closet and chuckled. _"Temari's good at this…"_

"And now I want you to eat all this, understand?" Temari smiled. She shoved the bowl right to his mouth, making Kankurou drink all the contents. "BLEAGHH!!" Kankurou spat out the remains and dashed to the bathroom. Gaara came out of the closet and grinned. Temari's smirk became wider as she saw Kankurou heading back. "Gaara, you know what to do." She whispered.

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Kankurou sat back on the couch, breathing heavily as he wiped his forehead. "How are you feeling, Kankurou?" Temari asked, smiling mischievously. "Worse!" Kankurou yelled. "Oh no," Temari started, making sure that she sounds worried. "I'd better check on our medical book for cures." Temari went inside Gaara's library and shut the door. "At least I'll be able to get some sleep." Kankurou muttered and started to doze off, snoring.

"Time to put the plan into operation." Gaara murmured. He grabbed green light bulbs from their attic and replaced all of the ordinary light bulbs inside their house with it. "This ought to give him night vision." Then, Gaara took out some Mexican jumping beans from the cupboard and snuck behind the sleeping puppeteer. He put some on the pockets of his pants and smirked in a very un-Gaara-like way and hurried back to the kitchen, away from the scene of the crime.

"W-whoa!" Kankurou was awakened by the effect of the jumping beans that was in his pockets. He was shaking up and down on the couch uncontrollably. "W-w-what's h-happening?!" he tried to say. After a few minutes of shaking and hitting his head, it finally stopped. "Finally!" he sighed. Gaara watched from the kitchen window and sneaked on the main power box switch. "Time for the second act." He muttered. He opened all the light switches on the house with the green bulbs. "What the heck?" he looked around totally puzzled on the string of events that day. He rubbed his eyes upon seeing green and blinked. "Green! Everywhere! What's happening here?!"

Temari bursted out from the library, carrying a large book. "Kankurou! I just read about a new disease! I hope you don't have it!" she said, trying to look convincingly worried. Kankurou raised an eyebrow at her. "W-what are the s-symptoms?" he asked nervously. "Oh, don't worry, it's probably nothing… unless you've been having uncontrolled shaking lately…" Temari grinned on the inside of her head. She's been watching Gaara's plot all this time. "Well…I HAVE been shaking uncontrollably just a minute ago…" Kankurou's eyes were twitching. "Oh no! Well, its okay…except if you're seeing GREEN…" Temari pretended to not notice the green background they were having because of the bulbs. Kankurou quickly got up from the couch, sweating. "Temari! I AM seeing green! Is that bad?!" Kankurou panicked. Gaara emerged from the kitchen, his hands inside his pocket and pretended to look flaccid as always.

"Maybe you're just green-minded."

"No I'm not! Don't you see the green?!"

"Kankurou, what are you talking about?! Oh no! Maybe you have…" Temari gave a small gasp and backed away from Kankurou. "W-what?! What?!" Kankurou clenched his fists, nervous to her what the answer may be.

"The legendary, incurable, heart-stopping, spine-tingling, hereditary…" Temari flashed as many scary words she can find in a dictionary she suddenly had, flipping through its pages. "The SARS infected brain disease!" she finally concluded, her voice sounding like a horror movie narrator.

"_SARS_? I thought that was only in Hong Kong?" Kankurou looked quizzically at Temari who pretended to not hear him. "What's Hong Kong?" Gaara interrupted. "I don't know. But there's SARS there, right?" Kankurou shrugged his shoulders.

"Kankurou! Stay away from us!!" Temari screamed, crossing her fingers like a cross and pulled Gaara with her inside the library. "W-wait! Temari! What's gonna happen to me?!!" he saw them dash outside the window and followed them through the door. He shrieked as he headed outside and saw something he never wanted to see.

_Kankurou Sabakuno_

_R.I.P_

_May you rest in peace in the sands of Suna_

_Siblings:_

_Temari _

_Gaara_

His eyes widened at the sight of a grave with his name carved on it. But another thing caught his attention, Temari and Gaara in front of the grave, Temari weeping on a handkerchief while Gaara remained stoic. He tried to call them but neither turned to his direction. "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!! TEMARI! GAARA! I'M NOT DEAD!" He dashed towards the two and tried to grab their hands, but his palm slid through their arms, as if he's practically transparent. He knelt down on the sands and clenched his fists and screamed. "AAAAAAHHHHHH!"

Temari and Gaara were laughing silently on the top of a tree, covering their mouths. "Hahaha! And to think we owe it all to the wonders of holograms!" Temari coughed a little and held her stomach. "That's what you get for messing with us, Kankurou." Gaara added with a little hint of amusement on his voice. "Okay Gaara, are you ready for the last part?" Temari shouldered Gaara and winked. Gaara just nodded and both of them got down from the tree.

Kankurou walked away from that hell scene and headed to a secluded place. "huff…puff…can't…run anymore…" He got down on his knees and tightened his fists. "I can't be dead…" then, he heard the sound of thunder, and Lucifer's laugh, (Which was obviously recorded by Temari and Gaara, but Kankurou hardly noticed that because of the panicked state he was in) "Huh? What's that?!" Kankurou turned around and saw two hooded figures, both of them wielding a scythe. "Wha-what the hell…? Who are you two?!...You're not shinigamis like on '_Bleach_' right?" Kankurou stupidly said, breaking the scary atmosphere.

"…No, Kankurou. We are…" One of the hooded figures started.

"You are…?"

"We are…"

"The cosplayers from 'Lord Of The Rings'?"

"NO! We are death, you idiot!"

"Then why are there two of you?" Kankurou asked.

"Shut up! Kankurou…it's time…" The two figures raised their scythes, with matching thunder as the background.

"NOOOOO! I'm not ready to go yet!!"

"Too late, Kankurou…You're dead." The other figure said.

"No! I'm just pretending to be sick a moment ago and…"

"Ahh… you have sinned also…"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Give me another chance!" Kankurou whimpered on the sands, covering his face with his hands.

"You shall suffer the eternity doing…"

"Doing what…?" Kankurou whined and was about to cry. Then, the two hooded figures took off the hood of their costumes, revealing who they're really are.

"Preparing food and household chores! Mwahahaha!!!" Temari laughed as she held her scythe tighter, bending down, laughing uncontrollably. Kankurou's eyes were wide open, his eyes completely indicating murder as he saw his two siblings laughing their heads off.

"You two…" Kankurou started. Veins popping on his head.

"Like it? That's what you get for taking advantage on us!" Temari smirked. Gaara said nothing but there was a trace of contentment in his eyes.

"Aargh… Well, I wasn't really scared, you know." Kankurou crossed his arms and shot the two a dirty look.

"Yeah, right! You should've seen your face, it was all like, 'I'm sorry! I'm sorry!'" Temari mimicked in a mocking voice.

Embarrassed to death, (excuse the pun) Kankurou put his hands inside his pocket and began to walk away. But as he turned around, he saw another pair of hooded figures, both wielding a bloody scythe.

"Ha ha. Very funny. I can't believe you two would do a joke twice." Kankurou spat and rolled his eyes.

"Uhhh… Kankurou, were over here…" Temari said, as she eyed the hooded figures.

"Eh?...If you're over there …then who…" Kankurou nervously fixed his gaze back at the two figures. Then slowly, they pulled down their hood revealing two horrendous, horrible, eerie, ghastly, appalling, and creepy-looking skeletons, staring down at him with their empty eye sockets.

"You have a grave, Kankurou…so it IS your time…" one figure said, raising his scythe.

It took a minute for Kankurou to register the disturbing image of empty eyes sockets in his brain and give a reaction. Although, words are not needed for an obvious response if you just saw two scary-looking, hooded figures and you just found out that they're the real death.

"……AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Kankurou dashed away from the two, his hands clasped on his eyes. Temari and Gaara didn't budge. A small smirk on their faces as they approached the two figures and removed the skeleton mask, exposing two familiar faces.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That was the best! Did you see the look on his face, Gaara?" A certain yellow-haired boy slapped the Kazekage on the back, laughing until his insides explode.

"Thanks for your cooperation, _Shikamaru_." Temari grabbed the other boy's collar and planted a small kiss on his cheeks, causing him to blush a little. "Do you think we did too much?" Shikamaru asked, his eyes turning to where Kankurou ran away.

"Nah. He deserved it." Temari replied nonchalantly.

"Darn! I forgot my video recorder." Naruto snapped his fingers.

As they were laughing, another puff of smoke appeared before them, or should I say, another death?

"The four of you…are sinners! I will whisk you all to the underworld!!"

"Temari, did you invite another one?" Gaara raised an eyebrow at her sister.

"N-no…" there was a moment of silence in Suna. "Then who…" Shikamaru started to back away. The tall, so-called death took off his hood, that revealed something that made Temari, Gaara, Naruto and Shikamaru ran away in fear. Inside the hood, there was…

_Nothing._

"GAAAAAAHHHHHH! IT'S THE REAL DEATH!" They all screamed.

When they were all gone, the 'death' pulled off his long robe that was supported by a long stick, that made the head not visible. And after a short moment, the person inside the robe laughed. Menacingly.

"Ha! That's what you get for messing with me…" He started.

"_Sabakuno, Kankurou."_

**End**


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